Left Behind: Grandma Got this on Clearance

Roll over Starcraft, there’s a new RTS game on the block, and its powered purely by awesome. The game is called Left Behind: Eternal Forces published by Inspired Entertainment and is likely the industry’s sleeper hit of the century. Now I know what you may be thinking: “So you want me to fight the Antichrist. With guns and the power of prayer. In New York City. What could be better?” And you would be right. This is - hands down - the best gaming experience ever. Not only that, but you’ll find yourself personally changed in the process. Inspired Media Entertainment proudly states “More that 1,000 people have recommitted their liv es or come to faith as a result of our games and evangelist website.” 1,000 people – wow – what other game title has reached so many? The game opens with a starting cinematic describing the whole of human history, all the wars, all the famines, all the plagues as metaphysical conflict between “Those who believe, those who choose not to believe and those who turn their back on God.” Powerful words for powerful times. Next you enter the game where our main protagonist, Rayford Steele (quite possibly the coolest name ever...  Jack Bauer can suck it), has to walk the mean streets of New York in search of his friend Buck. But watch out! The city isn’t what it used to be. Broken down cars litter the streets, many stores are closed and evil satanic musicians worshiping the God of Rock will gleefully play their siren-song phat beats to convert you to the side of the Global Community Peacekeepers (GCP), where you will be in the thrall of the evil Secretary General of the United Nations. To be fair, not everything has changed about New York, the buildings are still tall, the population is still unfriendly, and if you get too close to the gang members they will chase you all through midtown, brandishing their bottles of poison. Actually, the Antichrist has made a few improvements to the city: all the billboards advertising sex, gambling, and secular culture have been replaced with in-game advertisements to join the army, stop crime, and stop drunk driving. (Also the Antichrist, in a stroke of genius, decided to change the layout of midtown Manhattan; the street grid now features more avenues than streets, with a Broadway that heads from NE to SW instead of NW to SE...)

 

The game play itself puts you in the middle of the action, running through hordes of musicians as you constantly pray to keep your spiritual resolve up (the GCP units, on the other hand, have the ability ‘cuss’). Later on you get missions like ‘Convert 15 People to Christianity,’ ‘Find the Abandoned Church’ and ‘Defeat the Evil Gangsters with the Power of Song.’ Later missions in this real time strategy game give you a righteous legion of units for all your crusading needs: like missionaries, saints, spies, soldiers, hummers, repairmen and tanks. I won’t spoil the ending, but I hear that the Flying Spaghetti Monster makes a guest appearance (ok, not really). And for the secular humanist in all of us, the GCP units are available to play as well. The fun doesn’t stop there! The loading screen features blurbs with useful facts like “It’s important to be charitable to others” and “Did you know that evolution is only a theory?” Generally these screens have handy links if you want to take a break from playing and instead go to an online forum managed by the game company. All in all, Left Behind: Eternal Forces is a tribute to all that is good in the video game industry. You should buy this game if not for your personal salvation, then for the satisfaction of knowing just how good a game this really is.