Men love to blow shit up. That's why video games are such a success with us--game developers have thoroughly mined the dank recesses of the male mind to create hours of wish fulfillment that usually integrates attractive CGI women, explosions, and monsters. Unfortunately, many women lack the drive to assist their man in saving the universe from the Locust Horde. But have you ever thought that if your GF was just a little bit of a gamer, she would be the perfect woman (I mean...um, more than she already is)? Below are some games that will help your relationship reach that next level.
The mere existence of such an absurd franchise circle-jerk is probably the reason capitalism will doom us all, but there is an unavoidable nostalgic value to playing the game. Also it's a heck of a good time. The gameplay is pretty much what you would expect: explore the Star Wars universe in Lego form and blast things.
Girlfriend Says: I am only willing to play something involving Star Wars because of the Lego people. And I LOVE the Lego people.
Benefits: The controls are easy to piece together and the co-op multiplayer allows players to join up with their friends and play through the entire 6-episode saga. The game also has its fair share of puzzles, collectibles, and secret areas to break up the cartoon action.
Potential Pitfalls: Yeah, ok, it does sound really lame.
Little Big Planet is a single or multiplayer game starring adorable (and yet somehow cool looking) sack people. As you progress through the somewhat old school side-scrolling adventure your characters will have to work together to jump, climb, grab, and drive through a realistic 3D environment collecting stickers and new outfits while avoiding bottomless pits, fire traps, and wacky bad guys. If you have a PS3, it's a title you shouldn't miss.
Girlfriend Says: If it weren't for this game, I would still be a console virgin. Thank you, LBP, for introducing me to the world of action platform games. Even if I did give up halfway through because it got too tough.
Benefits: The game's real innovation is the realistic physics engine which keeps the side scrolling action fresh for serious gamers and relatively intuitive for non-gamers. The rest of the magic is in the game's polish. The motion sensitive Playstation controller grants an enormous amount creative control when operating the sack person. A quick flip of the controller and the character will start dancing. Just beat your girlfriend at a minigame? Hit the up button and the avatar will reward your partner with a shit-eating grin. Those are just a few of the incredibly charming things you can do with Little Big Planet.
Potential Pitfalls: The later levels are really challenging and may be too difficult for GFs without much Mario experience.
Mario Kart is a tried-and-true standard in gender-neutral gaming. Choose from a number of familiar Nintendo characters to race around a track avoiding hazards and unleashing a myriad of power ups.
Girlfriend Says: I think you have to be allergic to fun to dislike this game. After all, its not possible to die. That's MY kind of game.
Benefits: Mario Kart has been around forever. It's easy to play and a new version comes out with every time Nintendo makes a new console.
Potential Pitfalls: This game has a steeper learning curve than most of the others on this list. If you have a lot of racing experience but your girlfriend doesn't, you are going to beat her most of the time.
Rayman has been captured by the Rabbids and must complete a number of minigames in order to escape. While it may sound like some of that terrible shovelware plaguing the Wii, it isn't. Rayman Raving Rabbids is a funny, story based adventure game with a diverse range of minigames ranging from shooting Rabbids with plungers to riding a warthog while using a flyswatter as a riding crop.
Girlfriend Says: Heh. Rabbits and plungers.
Benefits: It's really good at taking advantage of the infectious fun of the Wiimote. The minigames are enjoyable and simple to pick up.
Potential Pitfalls: While many games on this list are simple to learn but difficult to master, Rayman is at times just...simple.
The 3rd installment of the massively successful franchise, the Sims 3 is better looking and more user-friendly than previous versions. One of the most exciting trends in a newly emerging class of girl-friendly games, the Sims demonstrate how new and innovative game design can also be incredibly lucrative. The purpose of the game is to create and help a family of Sims through life: finding love, jobs, and happiness in a beautiful 3D world. While the Sims is technically only 1 player, it's easy to play with someone sitting over your shoulder.
Girlfriend Says: This is possibly the only game on this list that women actually play MORE than men. We are relational creatures--we like hooking couples up and building families. Men like playing God and seeing how long it takes for their Sim to drown. Match made in heaven!
Benefits: Design your friends in digital form and have them make out with each other. It's impossible not to love.
Potential Pitfalls: Definitely not a "plug and play" kind of game. Set-up can take awhile and gameplay swings easily between fun and aggravating for those without a lot of patience.
WipEout HD is sort of like the grown-up version of Mario Kart except instead of cartoon go-karts, it's futuristic hover racers. Like the Nintendo favorite, players race across around a track picking up items to help themselves or hinder their opponents. This new entry into the series is fast, sleek, well designed, and extremely good looking.
Girlfriend Says: One of my favorite games on here. Mario Kart for grownups PLUS I think its easier (with the bumpers). Perfect!
Benefits: A "bumpers" mode to keep inexperienced gamers from running into the wall. It goes a long way towards leveling the playing field.
Potential Pitfalls: Ok, so they're still futuristic hover racers. Not all girl friendly games have to be made for 6 year olds and star a plumber, do they?
The Katamari games are like a trip to WalMart on acid. When the King of All Cosmos goes on a bender and wipes out all the stars in the sky, his diminutive son must replace them with junk collected on a sticky ball. It sounds stupid, but the simple premise makes for some unbelievably addicting gaming. Essentially, the main character pushes a sticky ball around in a 3D world caught between real life and Japanese Technicolor bird vomit. The ball is limited to picking up small objects at first like flowers, birds, grass, vases, and cats before moving on to larger objects like people, houses, mountains, and clouds. It's a race against the timer (or your partner if you're playing two player) to make the largest possible ball of junk. Not convinced? Maybe check out a YouTube video or two before you pick it up.
Girlfriend Says: Colors! Animals! No one dies and you don't shoot anything! I'm sold.
Benefits: The funny story, simple controls, and zany premise should make it enjoyable and easy to play for non-gamers.
Potential Pitfalls: Some people are too bland to enjoy seizure-inducing Japanese Technicolor bird vomit.
Experience rock or dance stardom with your friends in game form. While music and rhythm games aren't a new innovation, the slew of peripherals that make them accessible are. On screen cues tell players when to sing, dance, or rock the plastic guitar. Players are awarded points for correct notes and rhythms and penalized for mistakes.
Girlfriend Says: "Don't stop--beliiiievin--hold on to that feeeeeeeelin!"
Benefits: Consoles are clogged with excellent versions of all these games, making it easy to match your girlfriend's interests (e.g. rock stardom, American Idol, dance etc...) with a game. It's also a great icebreaker if her friends are over and you realize you have nothing in common.
Potential Pitfalls: Some people don't like to sing, dance, or have fun. Like the Amish. Also, the games can be pretty pricey with all the extras. Make sure you have people to play with you before you buy.
Castle Crashers is an enormously fun cartoon action game. Available for up to 4 players, gameplay consists of arcade-style side scrolling action. Players must work together to fight their way through hoards of funny and menacing cartoon bad guys all the while collecting experience and new weapons.
Girlfriend Says: Lego Star Wars without the nerd stigma. Yay!
Benefits: The game is simple enough for non-gamers to just plug it in and go, but has enough features and content to keep the attention of a serious gamer. In addition, Castle Crashers is a true co-op title. Players must help each other to defeat enemies and reach goals as a team.
Potential Pitfalls: It still falls into the classic guy gaming trap. Hit bad guys with sticks until they die!
While technically only a one player game, Plants Vs. Zombies is a simple, fun, addicting, and hilarious game that lends itself well to the 1-person-plays-while-the-other-one-advises division of labor. The gameplay sounds just like the title: zombies attack (slowly, in typical zombie fashion) while plants fend them off by tossing peas and watermelons at them. The result is something like a tower defense game. Should a zombie slip by the horticultural defenses, the player loses, forcing him or her start the level all over again. As the game progresses, the location and time of day change while ever more powerful zombies attack, keeping the game fresh and challenging.
Girlfriend Says: This one actually is easy enough for me--yay! And the zombies are hilarious. Just wish there was a two player option!
Benefits: The game's point-and-click controls are extremely intuitive and feel as if they were designed with non-gamers in mind. The story mode is good for only about 8 hours of play, but a slew of mini games, purchasable items, and alternate modes will keep the game interesting for long time after that. At only $10 (at least on Steam), it feels like a steal.
Potential Pitfalls: While most players will think the cutesy cartoon graphics are charming, some hardcore gamers may find them vomit-inducing. Also the lack of a multiplayer option is a bummer.
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Did we miss any? Let us know what your favorites are!
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