How to buy hot designer clothes for $10 or less.

Feed a Family of four a nutritious, balanced meal for five dollars.

Lose ten pounds instantly through wiser fashion and make-up choices.

Be smart but look sexy.

Look sexy while solving that global warming problem.

No more desperately scratching at generic-drug packaging while you’re having an allergy or sinus attack — Our system will have you in within three minutes!

Teach your kids to resist planned obsolescence without whining ― avoid replacing their electronic games, gadgets, and MP3 players for at least 1 ¼ years!

Be the hottest babe in the club while cooking a nutritious dinner for your kids.

Never fart! Ever!

Make the very best chocolate brownies while exercising and flossing your teeth.

Please everyone you encounter while achieving personal satisfaction

Smell great no matter what!

Cook a delicious, nutritious, decadent, splendorific meal for ten without breaking a nail or a sweat.

Look fabulous, serene and confident while serving said meal.

Amaze your guests with the smartest witticisms and bons mots while hosting dinner party.

How to have an orgasm while paying your bills.

Buy the newest, best, most fabulous new gadgets and products while saving money and losing weight.

Throw a super deluxe and yet inexpensive party that will impress everyone you know and render them stupefied with envy and admiration.

Have one perfect, cleansing, quick yet substantial bowel movement each day at an appointed time.

Watch that Wall Street banker go down in flames while you win the lottery.

Never stain your shorts, no, you are too fabulous.

Enjoy every possible indulgence while losing weight, saving money and looking fantastic and enviable and having fabulous sex daily.